There has been so many changes in my life in the last year. As I tried to see past the forest for the trees last year I wasn't getting it. I couldn't see past a relationship that was over before it started, and I simply got caught up in what was going wrong instead of what was right for me.
Well time heals all things, and after I released some things, I can honestly say I am in a good head space. So my goal now is just to put my best foot forward and focus on my purpose.
Here goes nothing....
Tuesday, November 29, 2011
Tuesday, September 13, 2011
LGBT
I know this is an out of blue question, but if the community is just made up of Lesbian and Gay men and women, why do we use the Acrynomn LGBT.
I completely understand, I don't like it but I do understand, when the outside world puts our community in a box. And in general I enjoy the friendly banter and have no problem speaking up against ignorance, But it absoultely kills me when the ignorance is within our own community.
The same way you want understanding, growth, and acceptance for you and your four walls. It would be nice if we remembered that for others.
With love and kindness have I drawn thee, not with ignorance and closed mindedness!
Oh by the way, hellllllllllllloooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
I completely understand, I don't like it but I do understand, when the outside world puts our community in a box. And in general I enjoy the friendly banter and have no problem speaking up against ignorance, But it absoultely kills me when the ignorance is within our own community.
The same way you want understanding, growth, and acceptance for you and your four walls. It would be nice if we remembered that for others.
With love and kindness have I drawn thee, not with ignorance and closed mindedness!
Oh by the way, hellllllllllllloooooooooooooo!!!!!!!!
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
Will Same Sex Marriage Destroy The Institution of Marriage?
Some of you may have saw this or posted this on your FB wall yesterday, it seemed to spark some pretty interesting conversation, I wanted to spark some more ....Here was the post
"So let me get this straight... Larry King is on his 8th divorce, Elizabeth Taylor is possibly getting married for a 9th time, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with everyone; and yet the idea of same-sex marriage is still going to destroy the institution ...of marriage? Really? Proud to support equal rights for ALL."
MY RESPONSE
Someone on my Page disagreed that it was a civil rights issue. Said that Martin Luther king would turn over in his grave if he heard us comparing to Civil Rights. Well I like to beg to differ. Who in their right mind would think that the Civil rights Movement of the 1960's would be the last and only movement. The mere definition of civil rights is self explanatory: "The definition of Civil and political rights are a class of rights and freedoms that protect individuals from unwarranted action by government and private organizations and individuals and ensure one's ability to participate in the civil and political life of the state without discrimination or repression."
This is exactly what MLK fought for, equality. The right for me, you, and everyone in between to have the freedom to be who they are. LGBT rights is to me a civil rights issue. Anytime MY rights are being violated it is a civil rights issue. As a bisexual woman, I should have the same rights to marriage, life, and happiness as a heterosexual woman. The fact that other peoples hypocrisy can still in some fashion dictate my life enrages me. No matter who I decide/end up (God hasn't shown me that chapter yet), I have chosen to be an advocate. Its going to take a nation to make the change. I am in it for the Long HAUL!!!! Let's get it!!!!!
"So let me get this straight... Larry King is on his 8th divorce, Elizabeth Taylor is possibly getting married for a 9th time, Britney Spears had a 55 hour marriage, Jesse James and Tiger Woods, while married, were having sex with everyone; and yet the idea of same-sex marriage is still going to destroy the institution ...of marriage? Really? Proud to support equal rights for ALL."
MY RESPONSE
Someone on my Page disagreed that it was a civil rights issue. Said that Martin Luther king would turn over in his grave if he heard us comparing to Civil Rights. Well I like to beg to differ. Who in their right mind would think that the Civil rights Movement of the 1960's would be the last and only movement. The mere definition of civil rights is self explanatory: "The definition of Civil and political rights are a class of rights and freedoms that protect individuals from unwarranted action by government and private organizations and individuals and ensure one's ability to participate in the civil and political life of the state without discrimination or repression."
This is exactly what MLK fought for, equality. The right for me, you, and everyone in between to have the freedom to be who they are. LGBT rights is to me a civil rights issue. Anytime MY rights are being violated it is a civil rights issue. As a bisexual woman, I should have the same rights to marriage, life, and happiness as a heterosexual woman. The fact that other peoples hypocrisy can still in some fashion dictate my life enrages me. No matter who I decide/end up (God hasn't shown me that chapter yet), I have chosen to be an advocate. Its going to take a nation to make the change. I am in it for the Long HAUL!!!! Let's get it!!!!!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
My Rant.... Character is Important!!!
Its amazing how small Dallas can be sometimes, and the gay community even smaller! I never would have thought the last year would have played out the way it has, but everything happens for a reason. I know that this is just a set up for my blessing. I am proud of myself for trusting God this time thus far but trust me I am a work in progress. Everyday I have a moment where I want to wreck shop but I know thats not for me. I know God's Favor is on my life, and as much as it hurts he has answered my prayers this far, so I know he's definitely got the rest.
I will say this, I am not perfect, never tried to say or pretend that I was. But I take my life, friends, and family seriously. And the people that know me, know that I would do anything for you. I don't make idle threats, there is no need for me to step outside my character unless you cross me.
I handle my issues directly with the culprit, I take care of myself and I do not make up lies to make myself seem like something I am not. I don't have to turn red and cry big crocodile tears to make it seem like my words are authentic. I am me all day long, honest, true and faithful.
I will give my shirt off my back, work like a dog to take care of my family. I have a genuine concern for people, and a heart to change the world. So please by all means keep attacking my character, the more and more you talk the deeper the whole you are digging for yourself.
Its amazing that people that don't even know me that well can read between your bull! When I was a child I thought as a child and when I became an adult I laid down my childish ways. Honey we have all made some questionable choices but the difference is I have grown and learned from mine, as we all should. I have made it a point to live my life where my character speaks for itself.
Now I will say this in my hold age, I am allergic to bullshit. Those who tried to feed me bullshit will say that I am stuck up, moody, bitchy, oh yeah and fake. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd they are so right! I will give each person the benefit of the doubt, but the moment I see that you are all games, you lie, steal, cheat to get what you want. I will shut down on you boo, cause my life is too precious to waste on people that want to play games with their life.
What determines your character is not life, but how you respond to lifes obstacles. Whats in your character.
I will say this, I am not perfect, never tried to say or pretend that I was. But I take my life, friends, and family seriously. And the people that know me, know that I would do anything for you. I don't make idle threats, there is no need for me to step outside my character unless you cross me.
I handle my issues directly with the culprit, I take care of myself and I do not make up lies to make myself seem like something I am not. I don't have to turn red and cry big crocodile tears to make it seem like my words are authentic. I am me all day long, honest, true and faithful.
I will give my shirt off my back, work like a dog to take care of my family. I have a genuine concern for people, and a heart to change the world. So please by all means keep attacking my character, the more and more you talk the deeper the whole you are digging for yourself.
Its amazing that people that don't even know me that well can read between your bull! When I was a child I thought as a child and when I became an adult I laid down my childish ways. Honey we have all made some questionable choices but the difference is I have grown and learned from mine, as we all should. I have made it a point to live my life where my character speaks for itself.
Now I will say this in my hold age, I am allergic to bullshit. Those who tried to feed me bullshit will say that I am stuck up, moody, bitchy, oh yeah and fake. Annnnnnnnnnnnnnd they are so right! I will give each person the benefit of the doubt, but the moment I see that you are all games, you lie, steal, cheat to get what you want. I will shut down on you boo, cause my life is too precious to waste on people that want to play games with their life.
What determines your character is not life, but how you respond to lifes obstacles. Whats in your character.
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
I want to Set Her Ass on Fire!
Ok so its been a while, I know. Work, work, and work as usual. Ok and maybe just pure laziness and emotional, but charge it to the head. But Lord I need y'all to pray for me.
Ok in July I received an email from my ex, saying how much she missed me and wanted to be with me again. Now mind you in April we split up because I found out she was cheating, still didn't get the full story, of how and when everything happened. But long story short, we started to talk again. She had copied her best friend on the email that she forwarded me, so that I would know that she was serious.
Let me explain, her best friend is completely her opposite, she is truly a kind person, humble and sweet. Not a vindictive bone her body, she tries to see everything from both sides like would not harm a fly. One of the few people outside my family that I would trust with my life. We were not friends before, but we met thru M. But she is truly a genuine person. M knew I would trust her and call her first and get her opinion on the load of crap her BFF was trying to sell me.
Well thats exactly what I did, I called we talked, she explained to me how M, had been talking to her for months now about contacting me. And that she wanted me back....well immediately after we start talking I notice the same pattern, like you can't even admit that you cheated, we still have the same trust issues, always acting like her phone is dead, texting acting like you not talking to anybody. Now I love her but I am not boo boo blind this time, after what just happened in April, my spirit just won't rest on the things that she is telling me. My gut is saying Hell no, not this time, but my heart is saying BUT SHE CHOSE ME, like surely she can't be playing the same games after all this.
To top it off she says that she wants to take things slow, like she wants to be with me but not right now. She gives the old I want to be better for you speech, like who does that. Who cheats, lies on you to their new so called "friends", and then comes back 3 months later uses their BFF, to get to you. Essentially lies to her as well, makes it seem like I am the only person that she has wanted and needed. Then gets me to believe her and I say ok lets start over and the minute I say that its ok cool we back to the same old program and this time lets make it worse by saying "Oh baby I am trying to work on me so I can't commit right now. "
Translation we can kick it, I still what you to be the same person you are, we can fuck, spend time together but I am gonna still do me on the side. Who the hell told this girl after 4 years of my life I was going to let her turn me into a sideline hoe! No ma'am. So I everything in me told me she was lying, I blocked her from everything and told her I could not talk to her anymore. She continued to send messages thru her BFF and I finally told her last Saturday to just tell her to stop, it wasn't going to work. I knew something was not right and until she could prove otherwise we had nothing to talk about.
But me being the soft hearted person that I am, I was heart broken. I told God if I am wrong about the situation show me, I want to know I am tired of being in limbo. Well the next day was the Pride parade here in Dallas, I had no clue she would be there. As my friends and I walked to find a place to stand who do I walk up on, its her, its funny cause her trifling friend saw me first. And got up and went the other direction. When she saw me she froze, now I spoke but something in me said find out Knisha, verify who she is with. When I walked over she tried to play it cool, the girl looked at me as I passed by her, at that moment I had no clue who she was.
We walked off to the side, she told me she had got my message about not contacting me anymore. I leaned into her to see what she would do, she pulled back, I GOT MY ANSWER. I said who is she, she tried to deny it,tried to act like she wasn't there with anybody and that she did not know the girls name. Around that time the girl has basically said she has had enough of the interaction, and walks up and introduces herself, as to say now what. Then walks off, it was the person that she had cheated on me with the first time, she had never quit talking to her.
Y'all it took everything in me to walk off, and not act a fool. To this day the girl has no clue, and really just thinks I am the crazy ex. And to top it off her BFF is caught in the middle, she doesn't know who to believe of course M is feeding a version of the truth that is so far off the beaten path its ridiculous, so now she doesn't know which one of us is crazy. I WANT TO SET M ASS ON FIRE! If you cheat and make a mistake one time, that's one thing but for you to purposely double back, and lie,cheat and steal and make me look like a FOOL all over again. I am telling you I WANT T SET HER ASS ON FIRE! DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!
But I know I don't have to, cause KARMA is not a nice GIRL! God knows who I am and what I am not! And all I can say is God help her, it was one thing for you to put your hands on my life once, but you knew what you were doing the second time for sure, and you have the audacity to think your life is still gone be the same.
I thank GOD for wisdom y'all! I truly do, now this just happened 2 weekends ago so I have not been fully delivered yet and I have been extremely emotional. But I know that it has to be just a setup for the person that is truly meant for me!
Trusting and believing GOD so I don't go to jail, LOL... all I can do is smile (well try to anyway)about it cause I know the outcome will surly be in my favor.
Ok in July I received an email from my ex, saying how much she missed me and wanted to be with me again. Now mind you in April we split up because I found out she was cheating, still didn't get the full story, of how and when everything happened. But long story short, we started to talk again. She had copied her best friend on the email that she forwarded me, so that I would know that she was serious.
Let me explain, her best friend is completely her opposite, she is truly a kind person, humble and sweet. Not a vindictive bone her body, she tries to see everything from both sides like would not harm a fly. One of the few people outside my family that I would trust with my life. We were not friends before, but we met thru M. But she is truly a genuine person. M knew I would trust her and call her first and get her opinion on the load of crap her BFF was trying to sell me.
Well thats exactly what I did, I called we talked, she explained to me how M, had been talking to her for months now about contacting me. And that she wanted me back....well immediately after we start talking I notice the same pattern, like you can't even admit that you cheated, we still have the same trust issues, always acting like her phone is dead, texting acting like you not talking to anybody. Now I love her but I am not boo boo blind this time, after what just happened in April, my spirit just won't rest on the things that she is telling me. My gut is saying Hell no, not this time, but my heart is saying BUT SHE CHOSE ME, like surely she can't be playing the same games after all this.
To top it off she says that she wants to take things slow, like she wants to be with me but not right now. She gives the old I want to be better for you speech, like who does that. Who cheats, lies on you to their new so called "friends", and then comes back 3 months later uses their BFF, to get to you. Essentially lies to her as well, makes it seem like I am the only person that she has wanted and needed. Then gets me to believe her and I say ok lets start over and the minute I say that its ok cool we back to the same old program and this time lets make it worse by saying "Oh baby I am trying to work on me so I can't commit right now. "
Translation we can kick it, I still what you to be the same person you are, we can fuck, spend time together but I am gonna still do me on the side. Who the hell told this girl after 4 years of my life I was going to let her turn me into a sideline hoe! No ma'am. So I everything in me told me she was lying, I blocked her from everything and told her I could not talk to her anymore. She continued to send messages thru her BFF and I finally told her last Saturday to just tell her to stop, it wasn't going to work. I knew something was not right and until she could prove otherwise we had nothing to talk about.
But me being the soft hearted person that I am, I was heart broken. I told God if I am wrong about the situation show me, I want to know I am tired of being in limbo. Well the next day was the Pride parade here in Dallas, I had no clue she would be there. As my friends and I walked to find a place to stand who do I walk up on, its her, its funny cause her trifling friend saw me first. And got up and went the other direction. When she saw me she froze, now I spoke but something in me said find out Knisha, verify who she is with. When I walked over she tried to play it cool, the girl looked at me as I passed by her, at that moment I had no clue who she was.
We walked off to the side, she told me she had got my message about not contacting me anymore. I leaned into her to see what she would do, she pulled back, I GOT MY ANSWER. I said who is she, she tried to deny it,tried to act like she wasn't there with anybody and that she did not know the girls name. Around that time the girl has basically said she has had enough of the interaction, and walks up and introduces herself, as to say now what. Then walks off, it was the person that she had cheated on me with the first time, she had never quit talking to her.
Y'all it took everything in me to walk off, and not act a fool. To this day the girl has no clue, and really just thinks I am the crazy ex. And to top it off her BFF is caught in the middle, she doesn't know who to believe of course M is feeding a version of the truth that is so far off the beaten path its ridiculous, so now she doesn't know which one of us is crazy. I WANT TO SET M ASS ON FIRE! If you cheat and make a mistake one time, that's one thing but for you to purposely double back, and lie,cheat and steal and make me look like a FOOL all over again. I am telling you I WANT T SET HER ASS ON FIRE! DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!
But I know I don't have to, cause KARMA is not a nice GIRL! God knows who I am and what I am not! And all I can say is God help her, it was one thing for you to put your hands on my life once, but you knew what you were doing the second time for sure, and you have the audacity to think your life is still gone be the same.
I thank GOD for wisdom y'all! I truly do, now this just happened 2 weekends ago so I have not been fully delivered yet and I have been extremely emotional. But I know that it has to be just a setup for the person that is truly meant for me!
Trusting and believing GOD so I don't go to jail, LOL... all I can do is smile (well try to anyway)about it cause I know the outcome will surly be in my favor.
Monday, June 28, 2010
Out and Proud
I can't talk, cause its taken me 4 years to get comfortable in my own skin, and I am still working on me, but I have to ask.
Did anyone see the homepage of Yahoo a couple of days ago? When I got ready to log in to check my email one of the flashing topics was OUT and PROUD CELEBS. I had to check out the scoop, but there was no surprise, 21 celebs and the only African American was Wanda Sykes. Now I know darn well they did not poll everyone or even begin to dig, I guess they only did the ones they felt we cared about, or the TOP celebs. Ummm, anyooo.....
Ok maybe I am reading to much into this but I looked at the ratio and what I feel was the symbolism of it. 1/21...like really, now we have people that have been suspected and some we out and out "know" but they will not confirm, in our African American Community but how many shout it from a roof top. Do you remember when you came out to your family and friends (and for those of us working on it) and some of them automatically said its cool, but don't make it public, everyone is not going to be understanding or love you like I do. Like they seriously just put you in a box right then and there and basically made you feel like you still had to hide who you are.
Ok maybe that just happened to me, cause mama straight said ok but don't flaunt it! SMH
And til this day, I still hear that playing in my head, or the fact that my family still refers to it has my "situation". Do you think celebs have those same issues, like do you think their families are behind the scenes, saying "you bet not embarrass me", or " you know if you say something, they will take all this away from you". Of Course they do, no one is perfect and family is family. However it seems like Caucasian people, don't care.... now I will not cross that boundary and stereotype everyone, because I know people from all walks of life, and drama has no respect of person or family.
But on the other hand, for white people it seems one or two things happen, they either say F it, I will go on any way, and say "I will do me and you will have to love me", and they become this wonderful outspoken gay activist and humanitarian. Or their family embraces them and they become this wonderful outspoken gay activist and humanitarian. This is a huge generalization but if I apply the same 1/21 scenario that Yahoo has that's what I come up with.
I am just saying, as African Americans, again may be I am reaching here, is it our community, our immediate families, our support system that put us in a box. Does this box trickle over into our every day lives, does it become an infection that we can't get rid of. Can it cause us to second guess our every move. Can it cause gay, bisexual, or lesbian Celebs to hide who they are, because as a part of their extended families, their community, some of "us" would shut them out without so much of a second thought. Just a thought, how much of a domino effect is it?!
P.S. I have to say, I love my family and they have a truly came a long way! Had to make that PSA.
Did anyone see the homepage of Yahoo a couple of days ago? When I got ready to log in to check my email one of the flashing topics was OUT and PROUD CELEBS. I had to check out the scoop, but there was no surprise, 21 celebs and the only African American was Wanda Sykes. Now I know darn well they did not poll everyone or even begin to dig, I guess they only did the ones they felt we cared about, or the TOP celebs. Ummm, anyooo.....
Ok maybe I am reading to much into this but I looked at the ratio and what I feel was the symbolism of it. 1/21...like really, now we have people that have been suspected and some we out and out "know" but they will not confirm, in our African American Community but how many shout it from a roof top. Do you remember when you came out to your family and friends (and for those of us working on it) and some of them automatically said its cool, but don't make it public, everyone is not going to be understanding or love you like I do. Like they seriously just put you in a box right then and there and basically made you feel like you still had to hide who you are.
Ok maybe that just happened to me, cause mama straight said ok but don't flaunt it! SMH
And til this day, I still hear that playing in my head, or the fact that my family still refers to it has my "situation". Do you think celebs have those same issues, like do you think their families are behind the scenes, saying "you bet not embarrass me", or " you know if you say something, they will take all this away from you". Of Course they do, no one is perfect and family is family. However it seems like Caucasian people, don't care.... now I will not cross that boundary and stereotype everyone, because I know people from all walks of life, and drama has no respect of person or family.
But on the other hand, for white people it seems one or two things happen, they either say F it, I will go on any way, and say "I will do me and you will have to love me", and they become this wonderful outspoken gay activist and humanitarian. Or their family embraces them and they become this wonderful outspoken gay activist and humanitarian. This is a huge generalization but if I apply the same 1/21 scenario that Yahoo has that's what I come up with.
I am just saying, as African Americans, again may be I am reaching here, is it our community, our immediate families, our support system that put us in a box. Does this box trickle over into our every day lives, does it become an infection that we can't get rid of. Can it cause us to second guess our every move. Can it cause gay, bisexual, or lesbian Celebs to hide who they are, because as a part of their extended families, their community, some of "us" would shut them out without so much of a second thought. Just a thought, how much of a domino effect is it?!
P.S. I have to say, I love my family and they have a truly came a long way! Had to make that PSA.
Friday, June 18, 2010
MIA-Always Something
So I have been completely MIA the last couple of months. The last time I posted I was trying to talk out my relationship, really trying to do it for myself to see if there was somthing I could do to fix it, something I was missing. Well needless to say that ship has sailed. I did not realize how toxic we had become, and few weeks after my post, I found out that she had left the relationship months before. talking about ripping a heart out. Anyway needless to say I have not been myself.
When I started this blog, I wanted to be community activist woman, I haven't got it together yet! I have been focusing so much on the past, and what I thought was my future that I have gotten nothing accomplished.
So tonight starts fresh, hopefully, LOL. Got to get out this funk and quit spinning my wheels!
I see I have missed so much, hello blog world, I have missed you so!
When I started this blog, I wanted to be community activist woman, I haven't got it together yet! I have been focusing so much on the past, and what I thought was my future that I have gotten nothing accomplished.
So tonight starts fresh, hopefully, LOL. Got to get out this funk and quit spinning my wheels!
I see I have missed so much, hello blog world, I have missed you so!
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