Ok so its been a while, I know. Work, work, and work as usual. Ok and maybe just pure laziness and emotional, but charge it to the head. But Lord I need y'all to pray for me.
Ok in July I received an email from my ex, saying how much she missed me and wanted to be with me again. Now mind you in April we split up because I found out she was cheating, still didn't get the full story, of how and when everything happened. But long story short, we started to talk again. She had copied her best friend on the email that she forwarded me, so that I would know that she was serious.
Let me explain, her best friend is completely her opposite, she is truly a kind person, humble and sweet. Not a vindictive bone her body, she tries to see everything from both sides like would not harm a fly. One of the few people outside my family that I would trust with my life. We were not friends before, but we met thru M. But she is truly a genuine person. M knew I would trust her and call her first and get her opinion on the load of crap her BFF was trying to sell me.
Well thats exactly what I did, I called we talked, she explained to me how M, had been talking to her for months now about contacting me. And that she wanted me back....well immediately after we start talking I notice the same pattern, like you can't even admit that you cheated, we still have the same trust issues, always acting like her phone is dead, texting acting like you not talking to anybody. Now I love her but I am not boo boo blind this time, after what just happened in April, my spirit just won't rest on the things that she is telling me. My gut is saying Hell no, not this time, but my heart is saying BUT SHE CHOSE ME, like surely she can't be playing the same games after all this.
To top it off she says that she wants to take things slow, like she wants to be with me but not right now. She gives the old I want to be better for you speech, like who does that. Who cheats, lies on you to their new so called "friends", and then comes back 3 months later uses their BFF, to get to you. Essentially lies to her as well, makes it seem like I am the only person that she has wanted and needed. Then gets me to believe her and I say ok lets start over and the minute I say that its ok cool we back to the same old program and this time lets make it worse by saying "Oh baby I am trying to work on me so I can't commit right now. "
Translation we can kick it, I still what you to be the same person you are, we can fuck, spend time together but I am gonna still do me on the side. Who the hell told this girl after 4 years of my life I was going to let her turn me into a sideline hoe! No ma'am. So I everything in me told me she was lying, I blocked her from everything and told her I could not talk to her anymore. She continued to send messages thru her BFF and I finally told her last Saturday to just tell her to stop, it wasn't going to work. I knew something was not right and until she could prove otherwise we had nothing to talk about.
But me being the soft hearted person that I am, I was heart broken. I told God if I am wrong about the situation show me, I want to know I am tired of being in limbo. Well the next day was the Pride parade here in Dallas, I had no clue she would be there. As my friends and I walked to find a place to stand who do I walk up on, its her, its funny cause her trifling friend saw me first. And got up and went the other direction. When she saw me she froze, now I spoke but something in me said find out Knisha, verify who she is with. When I walked over she tried to play it cool, the girl looked at me as I passed by her, at that moment I had no clue who she was.
We walked off to the side, she told me she had got my message about not contacting me anymore. I leaned into her to see what she would do, she pulled back, I GOT MY ANSWER. I said who is she, she tried to deny it,tried to act like she wasn't there with anybody and that she did not know the girls name. Around that time the girl has basically said she has had enough of the interaction, and walks up and introduces herself, as to say now what. Then walks off, it was the person that she had cheated on me with the first time, she had never quit talking to her.
Y'all it took everything in me to walk off, and not act a fool. To this day the girl has no clue, and really just thinks I am the crazy ex. And to top it off her BFF is caught in the middle, she doesn't know who to believe of course M is feeding a version of the truth that is so far off the beaten path its ridiculous, so now she doesn't know which one of us is crazy. I WANT TO SET M ASS ON FIRE! If you cheat and make a mistake one time, that's one thing but for you to purposely double back, and lie,cheat and steal and make me look like a FOOL all over again. I am telling you I WANT T SET HER ASS ON FIRE! DRAMA, DRAMA, DRAMA!
But I know I don't have to, cause KARMA is not a nice GIRL! God knows who I am and what I am not! And all I can say is God help her, it was one thing for you to put your hands on my life once, but you knew what you were doing the second time for sure, and you have the audacity to think your life is still gone be the same.
I thank GOD for wisdom y'all! I truly do, now this just happened 2 weekends ago so I have not been fully delivered yet and I have been extremely emotional. But I know that it has to be just a setup for the person that is truly meant for me!
Trusting and believing GOD so I don't go to jail, LOL... all I can do is smile (well try to anyway)about it cause I know the outcome will surly be in my favor.
