I don't know if its just me but from time to time I have to check my environment. Assess the people I have in my corner, or determine if I really have anyone down for me. This was huge issue for me when I initially came "out". I found that I made "friends" or latched on to people that were "family" or that claimed to understand me or accepted my lifestyle. Oh but I learned quickly that the quality of who you allow in your life far surpasses the quantity.
I was going thru an identity crisis of my own, and felt isolated from certain sectors of my life that were previously so important to me. The truth is when you are part of the LGBT community you are part of an "elite" club that comes with all the beautiful "perks" of hatred, maliciousness, and discrimination from the outside world, mainly focused on WHAT you are not WHO you are. When you are a part of this wonderful team its important to have the best support system available. For each of us that is comprised of something completely different.... friends, family, our partners, spouses, co-workers, pastor, etc.
Whatever or whoever it consist of make sure its true and consistent. Make sure its supportive and compliments you as a person. You have enough to fight with in the world, no need to bring the fight to your own backyard.
Check your surroundings, ask yourself if the people in your support system are right for you? And please do a self check, as important as it is for you to have the right people in your corner, its just as important for you to be accountable to those you love and support.
Wow, its as if you have read my mind. I was just thinking about how certain aspects of my life changed after I "came out": my church life and my long time friends who turned on me were the major ones.Over time, the wounds healed and my acceptance of myself and who I was were the most important things in my life.
ReplyDeleteI have learned over the years that quality is the most important aspect to have in friends. I have been part of the glbt community now for a little over 8 years and its been good and bad. Meet and befriended a lot of people in the "family" only to have to cut them out of my life as time passed. Its all just a part of the growth process...being gay just adds a little bit more complication-but with the right ingredients eveything can work out wonderfully.
@ Trisha,
ReplyDeleteThank you so much, my life definitely changed after I "came out" .I tried to gravitate towards "family" because they were more accepting at the time. But I latched on to people and changed my environment so quickly. I was definitely going about things the wrong way.
But I learned quickly, and made some adjustments, and like you, over time the wounds healed and I grew. Family and Friendship are truly important to me, it just took a few bumps for me to get it right.